Five lessons on life from a lifetime of seeking
Jyoti the Sicilian seeker, Kathmandu, Nepal July 2018.
“What matters in life?“ I asked Jyoti, a Sicilian man I met in Kathmandu. He had left Italy for India 40 years ago seeking what doesn’t change in life. In other words a quest for truth.
“Nothing matters in life, only the experience. If you do something ten times and don’t get the experience, it is a waste of time. But if you do it only once and get the experience that is the world. This experience is never good or bad. After you go through the experience it is just an experience. Good and bad is the trouble you have to go through to get the experience but once it’s done it’s done.”
“Is the purpose of life then to make experiences?“
“Life has no purpose. You can make a purpose of life, if you want. You can go through all your life with no purpose. Every person is in the story of others, we are not ourselves we are what the society makes of us. You are born into a family they tell you this is good and this is bad and then you get the rules of your society and you live in a pattern. There are two ways. If you are aware that you are inside a pattern then that is no problem, you play the role, if you are not aware you are identifying with the role and that is a problem because you follow a pattern and you think you are free…
This girl is passing. You see her passing, you get struck by this emotion, she doesn’t even notice you - she is gone. But you got touched, you got the experience of love. So it’s not her who did it, but through her you experienced love. You fall in love not because of the other person, but because of you. What is important is not the girl - it’s the love. Even if she doesn’t love you back the love that rose within you is what matters. When you are in love it is an experience of a flowering of yourself and it is a giving. Love is giving. You don’t need to be loved to give love, like a mother.
It is the same with a Master you surrender to him, and only if you surrender you get the experience. It doesn’t matter if the master is good or bad. What is important is that you surrender and are open to get the experience. Similarly the girl is not important - it is the love.
To find your Master. You become first a disciple and then the master will come to you. If you are thirsty it doesn’t matter which bottle you drink from. You can make your own master. Do you see that dog over there. You observe the dog acting or behaving in a certain way and you learn from him. You made the dog your master. You have to be open, ask the right questions and reflect.
Finally, to be altruistic means to be stupid, you have to take care of yourself before you take of others. You help others by helping yourself. Imagine if you were in a dark room with other people. If you light your candle the others will benefit from the light automatically. But if you try to light the other candles first your match will burn out before you can help and all will be in the dark. Like in the plane when the oxygen masks drop, you have to help yourself before helping the others. That's why they say before loving others you have to love yourself”
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”
